Blogging Block

Everyday I’ve been putting my heart, my thoughts and my life on my blog. Some days the blog comes easy… other days I have bloggers block. In light of what others may think blogging is hard. When I first started blogging over a year ago I had so many things I wanted to get out so I could start to heal and move forward now here I sit and I’m happy, my mind clear and my vocie growing more silence.

This past week I have been spending all my free time with my husband and kids. My mind at ease and nothing to type. Our days have been spent sleeping in, staying up late watching movies, hanging with close friends, swimming in the pool, laying out and watching the evening thunderstorms. Normal everyday stuff… I actually enjoy these times but I’m sure they are boring to read about…

T. A. K. E. (Tony Audrey Kaylyn Ethan) my life my purpose, we may not have it all but together we have something pretty beautiful.

You have to fight through some hard days to earn the Best days of your life…  I know the best is yet to come

📚Audrey

Watch your words…

It’s been super hot here in North Carolina. Upper 90’s almost everyday followed by evening thunderstorms and I’ve lacked motivation for blogging. I’ve had a lot on my mind but haven’t found the way to get it out on my blog until today… very fitting it’s Monday. #mcm #mce

Just recently while hanging out at our good friends house we were told again about a few things an old friend has said… noticed I said “old Friend” old because we hardly talk to them and we never talk about them in a negative way. I have been nothing but kind and nice to them. Tony brushed it off as always because as he says all the time There are a few things he doesn’t give a Flip about:

What he said or thinks. What she said or thinks.

I wish I was more like that…

Of course what was said was hurtful and targeted at my husband as always. It has really ticked me off. I can’t stand a coward nor someone who insults someone to others but can’t go to the person… this continues to happen with this person… over and over. We have forgiven them and continued on with some distance. Well no more. We are adults if there is an issue come to us. If you aren’t coming to us to solve the issue then your intentions are to cause harm and friction and this means you got to Go.

If we aren’t speaking to you, you shouldn’t be speaking about us.

First off let me just say this, my husband works his ass off! And has since he was 14 or younger. He has a very strong work ethic. He goes into work everyday and gives his all. You won’t hear him complain because he is thankful for everything he has. He helps his friends anyway he can. He puts everything he has into taking care of his family. He works all day then comes home and cooks for us. He cleans our home, when I can’t. Washes clothes, when I can’t. Keeps our yard mowed. He takes care of the vehicles. Fills my car up with gas because he knows I hate pumping gas. He takes care of his children. He has raised two very respectful children, who do as their told. They make very good grades, do their chores without having to be yelled at, have never got in trouble at school and they are kind to everyone they meet. They respect our home and us because of how their father has raised them. He plays with them even when he is worn slap out. He has taken care of me through all my health struggles. Held my hand, dried my tears and calmed my fears. He provides for them and me the Best he can and has made many huge sacrifices to see us happy. So for anyone to throw hurtful demeaning and spiteful statements around about the man I love is so disrespectful especially from someone who has known my husband for 17+ years and knows Tony is a Very good man.

For anyone to demean his character, use his past to hurt him or say he never has any money is pathetic and very cowardly in my opinion. Again it’s  especially Sad coming from someone who works at the same place he does and was only hired because of my husband.

Secondly unless you live in our home and receive our bank records how would you know what our finances are? If your talking about his past trying to hurt his future it ain’t going to work bc we don’t live in the past… answer this for me, why are you so obsessed with my husband ? I’ll tell you why jealously. Simple as that. As always you are trying to make Tony my husband look bad and all your doing is making yourself look pathetic and jealous as always.

I’m done with it. I know your reading this so hear me when I say this,

Next time you want to talk about my husband or me in a negative light why don’t you grow some balls and say it to his or my face.

📚Audrey

Why?

People keep asking me why I walked away from my extended family… (extended as in my biological mother, biological siblings, step siblings and step family) I get the, Why don’t you speak to them? What happened? why why why?? My normal quick response is I couldn’t handle it anymore, well the truth is this…

I didn’t walk away to make them feel guilty, mad or sad, because trust me I know they won’t. I walked away because I no longer had a reason to stay. I needed to be strong for myself and my family. Love, true love is worth fighting for but I can’t be the only one fighting for a relationship. They should want to fight for me too. I finally know in my heart I gave all of them more than they were willing to give me and look as sad as that is it’s life… my life.

I’m not bitter and I’m no longer sad. I’m feeling happy and safe again. A heart at peace gives life to the body! I’m walking proof of that.

📚Audrey

She’s the girl

She’s the girl….

The girl who has a few best friends and will not choose between them. The girl who knows how to laugh at herself first. The girl who expects way too much but no more than she is prepared to give. The girl who is learning to not care what anyone else’s thinks about her. The girl who is nice to everyone she meets. She’s the girl who will always say sorry when she is in the wrong. She’s the girl that will put all her trust into you until you give her a reason not too. She’s the girl who will never leave your side when you need her. She’s the girl that will go out of her way to cheer those around her up. She’s the girl who will never give up on you… the one that truly believes in loving one man forever.

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The Girl

To know her is to love her,
📚Audrey

Celiac Disease FYI

So my page 15 will be a rant… So Run if you must… Or actually read this and help me educate others about my disease which is called Celiac!

Just an FYI: if one more Person says to me

A little gluten won’t hurt me…
Why not try exercising instead of cutting out gluten…
it’s a fad diet…
Aren’t you over being gluten free by now…
So what Can you eat…
White bread should be fine

I seriously might scream in their face. Like seriously Go Look it up! Stop speaking about something you obviously Know nothing about. Don’t speak on a disease because you heard so and so say whatever about it.

I am educated on it because I have it. I did my research. I know what I can and can’t have! Gluten is Top on the list of stay far away. If I have questions I ask a Doctor or those that have it like myself. I stay away from those that feel gluten just makes your stomach upset.

If you have been diagnosed with celiac disease. That means you had an endoscopy and they did a biopsy which came back positive for celiac disease. Not just a blood test. You can Not have any gluten, Ever!! It will damage you. Not just make you sick. I don’t know about you but my body and all it’s parts are very important to me! It keeps me healthy and Alive! So shut your Face. They don’t just make up a disease!

Celiac Disease is Real People!!

and why I am at it… Yes I am gluten free crazy! Yes I pin gluten free stuff like crazy!

Yes I read all labels so I may block something for a minute in the store… Why not say excuse me, I’ll move. Don’t ask me

why I’m reading the lables

then when I politely answer back

I can’t have gluten

say back

I didn’t know people took that diet so serious.

I AM NOT ON A DIET TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT! IT IS MY LIFESTYLE BECAUSE OF MY CELIAC DISEASE!!

Yes I love that my friends tag me in gluten free things! Yes I like all gluten free things I see on Facebook! Don’t like that delete me.

I want to Live a long Healthy Life so buzzy off you Jerks and as for the rest of you that support me and have been helping me through my new health journey;

THANK YOU SO MUCH! YOU ARE IMPORTANT TO ME! YOU KEEPING ME FIGHTING and you all are probably the main reason I don’t go flip psycho on some people…

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Celiac disease has over 300 symptoms and believe it or Not they all AREN’T toilet problems…

💚Audrey

You only see what you want to see… and I’m not ready to make nice.

Have you ever had a song come on and you think Yes! That is Spot on how I feel! Well the Dixie Chicks came out with the song I’m not ready to make nice and it has spoke to me in a different way than before and in doing so sort of became my new anthem!

Here are the lyrics.

🎶Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could.
They say time heals everything
but I’m still waiting

I’m through with doubt.
There’s nothing left for me to figure out. I’ve paid a price
and I’ll keep paying

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I know you said
Can’t you just get over it
It turned my whole world around and I kind of like it

I made my bed and I sleep like a baby. With no regrets and I don’t mind sayin’
It’s a sad sad story when a mother will teach her Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger
and how in the world can the words that I said Send somebody so over the edge
That they’d write me a letter Sayin’ that I better shut up and sing. Or my life will be over

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

What it is you think I should

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting🎶

In my case instead of “sing” its Shut Up and Stop Blogging which for the record I will not do. 

As I’ve stated More than a few times if you don’t like my blog why do you keep reading it? Why try and leave nasty comments… On a blog that had nothing to do with what you claimed. You only seen what you wanted to see not what was actually written.

These are my thoughts, my moments and my memories. If you actually read the blog and stop twisting my words to fit your delusions you might not get so mad. These blogs aren’t throwing people under the bus they are expressing my pain and my happiness. They explain why I live the way I do. Why I feel the way I do.

I will not stay stay silent. I will not keep quite any longer. These are my life stories. Unless your me you can’t speak on how I felt. As I’ve also stated before if people would read to understand instead of read to respond we might get somewhere but when you speak for someone who doesn’t want to be spoken for your wasting your time and mine. I feel this way for a reason. You don’t just become Hurt one day. The emotions are raw and real. I blog for me and those suffering the same pain. Believe it or no there are three sides to every story theirs, mine and the truth. I’m not by any means saying my memories are the gospel. They are simply what I remember and what I took from the situations.

Calling me names and making threats to me does Not scare me. Like always your just showing your true colors.

To me; family supports you without strings attached. When your struggling they are there to help you. Not say “well you did this to yourselves work it out on your own”. They are there for your storms or calm seas. In my storms None of my so called family was there. Not one of them was holding my hand supporting me… No calls, no emails, just deathly silence. In that silence I heard more than ever before… There I was drowning and they were 3ft away yelling “learn to swim”… That isn’t family.

Audrey